by Ken Miller
It first appeared in the spring of 2025, if memory serves, in the middle of Greenville Street, Saluda, North Carolina, just a short way from the fire hall: a solitary orange traffic cone, dutifully warning drivers away from a repair in the newly paved street that had developed into a two foot square pothole. It was quite unusual to see a single traffic cone. They are incredibly sociable creatures. I am sure you have seen them in their regimental glory on many an American highway, marching along by the hundreds, keeping drivers safe in myriads of construction zones. To see one all alone in solitary splendor is quite unusual.
It is a lonely job, standing in the middle of a busy street all day. Not all traffic cones have that ability. This one is the exception. Day and night it stands its ground, despite the onslaught of cars, pickups, dump trucks, and, of course, fire engines. The little-cone-that-could never failed in its duty. Well, almost never. It was observed by alert neighbors taking a well deserved break on the sidewalk on occasion, but it always returned to the pothole in a timely manner. It was truly a civic minded cone.
It was not surprising then, when come Christmas time it began sporting a Santa Hat. It was quite jaunty, all red and green with the requisite tassel on top. It was easy to see that the cone was proud to be part of the Community Holiday Celebration. Until the day the hat was gone. Our cone was bereft, cold, and obviously lonesome without its festive hat. It is not known if the hat was stolen by one of the rowdy youngsters who inhabit the ubiquitous pickup trucks, or if there was some other reason, but it seems to have happened on a Friday. Payday. Party night.
Did the poor, lonesome traffic cone, longing for company, leave its post and slink off to the local pub for a beer and some warm companionship? Or was it a more sinister incident of theft? We may never know. But Saluda is nothing if not generous. In just a couple of days the lonesome cone was seen sporting another Christmas Hat! It must have been a donation, because the wages paid to traffic cones are pitiful, a mere pittance; adequate if you are part of the regimented thousands, living collectively, but not even enough for an occasional beer, if you are a lone cone working by yourself.
Then it happened again: a hatless cone. Was it Friday again? A theft or a beer run? Cold, alone, humiliated and bereft it remained doggedly at its post, sadly without a hat. But once again the good people of Saluda came to the rescue with another hat, this time an even more beautiful one. One that any traffic cone could be proud of, beer run hangovers notwithstanding.
We are all waiting for next Friday to see if the hat remains in place — a proud symbol of a proud community. I am sure that you all are with me in support of our solitary and lonely traffic cone. We will not let it down and stand shoulder to shoulder, if it had a shoulder, with it in the Holiday Spirit.
The Evolution of The Lonesome Traffic Cone
